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"One day the sun cast onto the world
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to show its image in different light.
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All the lines were in place
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but in between no shape or shades,
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just shadows of the past
cast against an aging brain,
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fading with the sunset's dying rays...
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Wiping away all trace of yesterday.
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Does anyone have any questions
for the author?
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Hey, Dad.
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Oh, hey.
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Can you turn down the music?
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What?
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The music, can you turn it down?
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Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Sorry.
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So, your super told me
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that they shut your power off.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Why didn't you pay the bill?
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Oh, because I'm through with that.
I don't need to do that anymore.
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I'm going off the map.
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What does that mean?
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It means that I am through
with the whole system.
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What whole system?
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The whole manmade system.
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I quit my job.
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I'm not paying bills.
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You quit your job?
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00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,523
Yeah. Yeah, I escaped it.
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How... How are you gonna eat?
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No-no, I don't need to pay
for food anymore.
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I realized that.
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I can get free milk at Starbucks.
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- I can get free ketchup at McDonald's.
- Ketchup?
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00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:59,805
Yeah, the body can survive
on ketchup alone just for a long time.
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00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,769
At least until the apocalypse.
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00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,321
Hey Marco,
I'm going to stop by tomorrow,
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and I'm gonna bring you some food.
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00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,810
No-no, I don't need food.
I'm fine with ketchup.
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- Just be at your apartment...
- Don't do that.
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Listen to me!
Listen to me!
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- Be at your apartment at 6:00.
- I won't be there.
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I'll be there.
I'll see you then. Bye.
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- They call me Luna.
- Luna!
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Because my mind moves
in tune with the lunar shifts.
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They call me a lunatic...
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because my biological clock's
a time bomb
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that ticks down to the minute
the full moon's lit.
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And I just got out of the loony bin,
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and I haven't been taking
my medication,
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so I'm about as unstable
as if nitro raped glycerin.
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More insane than Batman's Riddler
if Jim Carrey had played him
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without taking his Ritalin.
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I'll leave you riddles
sicker than a crossword puzzle
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written by Jack The Ripper.
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Full of clues as
to how I'm gonna kill you
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which I will do
right before you figure it out
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so I can stick it on the ground
next to your dead body
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and let the detectives
finish filling it out!
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"The fire went out...
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black, not even the smoke
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to sniff up the memory
of last night's wild sight
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and resurrect its magic back,
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sun-burnt on the tip of a matchstick
with one flick of God's finger,
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as all eternal blows out...
Lost in shadows...
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Surround my lips like vicious flint
with thrilled flicks licked with silk...
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It's going up in flames...
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As my spirit spreads!
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Get away my brains like stretching...
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Chain... Can't have wings...
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Wildfires rising high in my eyes...
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So wild...
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Fire irises.
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I'm a flame.
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I'm a flame!
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- Hey.
- Hi.
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- You okay?
- Yeah.
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- Can I come in?
- Yeah. Yeah, come in.
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You know it's
almost 1:00 in the morning?
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Shouldn't you be sleeping?
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- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
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What's wrong?
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I just wanted to talk.
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Oh. Well, sure.
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Can we look at some photo albums?
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Now?
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W-Why do you want to do that?
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Just to talk about the past.
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I just don't know
where they are, honey.
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- They're lost in a huge pile...
- I know where they are.
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- I don't think...
- I'll find them.
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Remember that?
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That was right before I got sick.
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Remember?
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What was I like?
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Baby, you don't remember?
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No.
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You were the same.
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00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,921
Mom, I need you to be honest with me.
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You're the only one
who knew me back then,
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- and I need you...
- No. That's not true.
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There's a lot of people
in your life who knew you then.
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What was I doing...
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when it happened?
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What do you mean?
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I mean, the doctors said
that something has to trigger it.
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- So, what was I doing?
- No, no.
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There was nothing
that we could've done.
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- It was gonna happen no matter what.
- No, no.
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N-N-No.
I must've done something to trigger it
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- because I am not the same person, Mom.
- No, you didn't.
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- I am not the same.
- You are the same.
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Would you just please,
just stop lying to me!
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Okay, Carla, you are acting
really hyper right now,
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and I-I...
Are you sleeping okay?
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What's going on?
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I'm just trying to figure out
who I am, you know,
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because I don't feel like myself anymore.
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Even when I go off the medication,
I don't feel like myself.
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Okay, you know what, honey?
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I think we need to get Dad
because he can really help.
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- No-No-No!
- No, we should.
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No, Mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't
have yelled. I won't yell again.
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- Please don't get Dad.
- Okay, you're right.
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Sit down.
And I have a really good plan.
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Okay, this is my plan.
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You're gonna spend the night tonight,
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and then tomorrow morning,
first thing,
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we'll go to the hospital
and get your file.
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See, they have a file of everything
about your illness.
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And then you can learn
anything you want.
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You can ask anything.
Okay?
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We'll figure all this out.
Okay?
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00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,648
I hate it when you look
at me like that.
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Like what?
How am I looking at you?
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Like I'm crazy.
138
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,641
I'm not looking at you
like you're crazy, honey.
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00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,491
No, you're looking at me
like you don't even recognize me.
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00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,644
- No. Honey, I love you.
- No.
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00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,440
- You miss that person that I used to be.
- No, please don't leave.
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00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,610
Donald!
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Hey, what happened to your apartment?
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What do you mean?
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I mean,
your books are all over the floor.
146
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Yeah, I decided
that I liked it better this way.
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00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,211
You know, you can see
all the titles way more easily.
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You know, and they're all placed
in different, specific locations.
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00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:13,961
It actually works out really great
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00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,441
because you can just walk up
to any one of them, you know?
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00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,331
You can walk up to any book
you want at any time, just sit down.
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00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,451
And there's a good variety
of reading environments.
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00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,322
I don't know.
It just seems stupid, somehow,
154
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to just want to put
a bunch of books together in one place.
155
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That just seems
like in-the-box thinking to me.
156
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- Do you know what I mean?
- Hm.
157
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,806
- How you sleeping?
- Good.
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I just lie down and sleep.
It's good.
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That all works out.
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Been taking your medication?
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Um... mm...
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I found that they really weren't working
for me, you know,
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kind of constricted my emotions,
you know, like a dried-up ocean.
164
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,046
That wasn't the potion.
165
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,366
Don't give me the lotion.
166
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,161
I just, yeah, it just didn't work,
so I stopped.
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I stopped.
168
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,365
You know what I found works, though?
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00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,170
- What's that?
- Marijuana, Mama.
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00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:19,120
- You're smoking marijuana?
- Yeah, it actually really helps.
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00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,851
You know, it works
way better than the medication.
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00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,161
Isn't that interesting?
173
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,291
I mean, I guess it has something to do
with my particular brain chemistry,
174
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,602
something about that works.
175
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,091
Do you smoke a lot of marijuana?
176
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,245
Depends on how long I'm awake for.
You know?
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00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,807
Lately I haven't needed
as much sleep, so...
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00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,008
I guess I have to up my dosage.
179
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,764
Tomorrow morning, let's go...
let's go to Dr. Lyons,
180
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,201
and we'll ask him and just hear
what he thinks about that.
181
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:51,365
- Who cares what he thinks?
- He's an expert on your illness.
182
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,204
- He'll know...
- I don't have an illness.
183
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,680
- Come on...
- Why are you bringing Dr. Lyons into this?
184
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,006
- There's nothing wrong with...
- Let's just...
185
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,242
Wait! That... what is...
186
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,880
- He's an expert on your medication.
- No, he's not a fucking expert!
187
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,280
He's a goddamned Nazi!
188
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,487
He doesn't fucking know
189
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:06,920
- what he's talking about, okay?
- Okay.
190
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,650
Listen. I don't have an illness.
191
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,964
Why don't you just, please,
come home with me tonight.
192
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,884
Come home?
193
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,520
- Home?
- Home. Yeah.
194
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:19,641
Right?
195
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,325
Is she there?
196
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,088
- Where is she?
- Who?
197
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,407
Mom?
198
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:35,090
She left because she's ill.
199
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,526
She's ill. She...
200
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,330
Why do you keep saying that?
201
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,450
She couldn't stand that!
And you know what happened?
202
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,204
- She fucking got away.
- Okay.
203
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,931
You know why?
Because she's a genius.
204
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,003
She's a fucking genius.
205
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,924
Why couldn't you see that?
206
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,771
Okay.
207
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,160
Count to ten.
208
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,002
Remember how she used to do that?
Remember?
209
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,162
Do you remember this?
210
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,442
- Okay, count to ten.
- Oh, come on.
211
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,648
- Just count to ten. Ready?
- Yeah.
212
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,211
Okay.
213
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,805
- One.
- One.
214
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,610
- Two.
- Nine.
215
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,603
- Three.
- Eight.
216
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,000
- Four.
- Seven.
217
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,810
Five.
218
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,243
Six. Seven.
219
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,607
Eight. Nine.
220
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,404
You're it!
221
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,164
Oh, Marco, no-no!
222
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,969
Fuck!
223
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,406
Hi. I was a patient here,
and I need a copy of my file.
224
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,200
I know you're obligated to give it to me.
225
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,362
- Yes. What's your name?
- Carla. Lucia.
226
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,966
L-U-C-I-A.
It's right there. That one.
227
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,724
Can you wait just one moment?
228
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,767
Hi. I'm Dr. Strinsky.
229
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,367
- Hi.
- Hi.
230
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:02,451
I wonder if I could ask
what you want your records for?
231
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,488
I don't have to tell you.
I know my rights.
232
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,369
Oh, you're right.
You don't have to tell me.
233
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,521
It's just that I...
234
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,648
it seems like you're upset
about something,
235
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,327
- and I just want to make sure that...
- No, I just want a copy of my file.
236
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,323
Sure.
You can come in my office,
237
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,280
and I'll sit and if you have any questions
and I can clarify anything,
238
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,602
I'll answer your questions.
239
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,811
It seems it began in college.
240
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,087
No.
241
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,163
I was great in college.
242
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,084
I did my best writing in college.
243
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,766
I could write all night
and then go party with my friends.
244
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,082
I mean, I had tons of friends.
245
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,962
I mean, I had these incredibly deep
relationships with people.
246
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,010
That was probably your illness surfacing.
247
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,085
What?
248
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:56,844
Sleeping less, being more personable,
more creative, wild.
249
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,241
Those are the beginnings of the illness.
250
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,165
You were just walking up to the edge.
251
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,284
Do you recognize this?
252
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,524
It's a poem you wrote.
253
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,251
"Please, God, let me feel what you feel.
254
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,769
I will stare up into the sky
with wide open eyes
255
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,888
until you burn through my irises
256
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,691
and touch my mind with your fire.
257
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,847
- I went to the desert.
- Yeah.
258
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:33,130
And you left this
on your desk before you went.
259
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:37,166
And then you forced your eyes open
and stared into the sun.
260
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,929
Is that what triggered it?
261
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,526
Uh-uh-uh.
Uh-uh-uh.
262
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,765
Hello, 911? I'm being held here
unlawfully at a police station...
263
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,163
That was your one call.
264
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,891
But I didn't call outside the station,
so it doesn't count.
265
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:13,881
Hm.
266
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,486
I don't belong here.
This is a hospital for sick people.
267
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,369
I'm not sick.
268
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,046
I can understand why you'd be here.
You look very sick to me.
269
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,686
There's no life in your face.
270
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,400
You look like you're about to tip over.
271
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,967
And if you ask me, you know,
you don't need electroshock therapy.
272
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,169
You need some jumper cables
attached to a Mack truck
273
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,403
to latch to your face to light up
those dull eyes of yours.
274
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,528
Do you think your mind
is sane right now?
275
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,688
More than yours.
276
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:45,609
Spreading messages in graffiti
about the end of the human race...
277
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,603
that doesn't seem sane to me.
278
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,128
Well, you're human, so you're biased.
279
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,048
Do a lot of people read these messages?
280
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,964
Everyone.
281
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,600
Well, how do you know?
282
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,967
Because of my online fan base.
283
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,922
Would you mind showing that to me?
284
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,121
Here.
285
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,410
There. You see that?
286
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,769
106 million people.
287
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:30,609
No, see, that number is the number
of people in the entire network.
288
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:36,369
Actually, only 119 people
have seen your page.
289
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,931
- What?
- See?
290
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,089
Marco, there's a lot of things
to figure out.
291
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,209
Why don't you let me help you?
292
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,727
Carla Lucia to check out.
293
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,001
I'm sorry.
294
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,083
You can't be released
until the doctors think you're okay.
295
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,241
- What?
- You can have...
296
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,041
No. I signed myself in voluntarily
last night.
297
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,565
- Yes, I know, but...
- You can't keep me here.
298
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,330
- You're still not allowed to be released...
- No, you can't keep...
299
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,200
- Call my mom. Call her.
- She's on her way.
300
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,084
Listen. She's on her way
with your clothes.
301
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,127
- Good morning, Paul.
- It is a good morning.
302
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,123
You know what would make a really
good morning, though?
303
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,361
What?
304
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,091
You slip some Adderall
into my cup instead of Seroquel,
305
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,641
which is understandable
because it is kind of the same color.
306
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,922
You know, especially
with pre-coffee eyesight?
307
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,162
None of those cameras
are gonna see anything.
308
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,200
And you don't have manic eyes,
know what I mean?
309
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,483
Oh, yeah. I think the last thing
you need is Adderall.
310
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,009
- Okay. Think about it.
- And, down.
311
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,607
- Think about it for lunchtime.
- No. Let me see. Let's see.
312
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,444
Thank you.
313
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,123
This is the idea of the apocalypse,
is a new beginning.
314
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:05,960
- Gary.
- Yes, but you don't understand...
315
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,002
- What?
- I'm graduating you.
316
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,168
What? That's great.
317
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,481
How did...
318
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,564
- That's... Hey, thanks, man.
- Hey.
319
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,200
I'm just trying to tell you
what I see in the cards.
320
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,283
Are we the first people to tell you
that you're gonna die?
321
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,805
- No, but the fact that...
- I'm really sorry to be
322
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,803
- the bearer of bad news.
- You're scaring him. Please stop.
323
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,485
You don't have to shoot
the messenger here.
324
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,768
Let's play some strip poker!
325
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,051
All right, guys.
326
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,250
We have two new people joining us today,
Emily and Marco.
327
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,566
I go by Luna.
328
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,850
Okay. This your nickname?
329
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,047
It's my poet's name.
330
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,646
Okay. Great.
331
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,243
So, how's everyone feeling?
332
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,360
All right, Gary,
why don't we start with you.
333
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,448
What's on your mind this morning?
334
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,209
The apocalypse.
335
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,361
Okay.
336
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,128
Do those sound
like rational or irrational fears?
337
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,566
Anyone?
338
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,165
Irrational.
339
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,163
All right, Luna,
340
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,529
tell Gary why his fears are irrational.
341
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,720
Gary...
342
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,202
you don't need to be
afraid of the apocalypse
343
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,811
because...
344
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,611
it's gonna happen,
no matter what.
345
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,603
In fact, it's already happening.
346
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,047
- Luna.
- What?
347
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,526
The world's not going to end.
348
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,524
Maybe not the world,
but the human race is.
349
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,604
Gary, don't worry.
The human race isn't going to end.
350
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,886
Of course it is.
351
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,161
What, you think it's a coincidence
352
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,483
that Nostradamus
and the Mayans both predicted that?
353
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,086
No. They saw where
the planet was going.
354
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,481
They saw everyone around
them cutting down more and more trees.
355
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,211
They saw humanity becoming a disease.
356
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,240
Do you know what
the definition of a disease is?
357
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,125
It's when a single organism
becomes so overgrown
358
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,611
that it's a menace to the whole.
359
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,366
And do you know what happens
when a disease threatens
360
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,722
the overall holistic balance in Nature?
361
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,211
It develops antibodies.
362
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,050
Okay, we're descending
into some place
363
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,880
that we don't really need to go right now.
364
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,440
I didn't mean anything by it.
365
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,005
Well, you're upsetting Gary.
366
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,204
Well, maybe now, but don't you think
that it's better in the long run
367
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,727
- for him to know the truth?
- It's not the truth.
368
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,771
Why don't you just apologize
to Gary for upsetting him?
369
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,047
Gary, I'm sorry that I upset you.
370
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,726
I didn't mean to scare you.
371
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,689
There's nothing to be upset about
372
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:36,243
because just think of it
like ridding the earth of a disease.
373
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,640
Don't you want that?
374
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,804
Don't you think that's a little selfish?
375
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,325
- Luna.
- What?
376
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,126
You were doing great.
You were doing great.
377
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,765
Maybe you went a little far.
378
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,366
How did I go...
That's why I'm apologizing.
379
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,010
Okay, we're just trying to keep it simple.
380
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,560
- That's why I'm apologizing.
- Yeah, just a simple apology.
381
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,729
- You'll never graduate this way, Luna.
- What are you talking about?
382
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,928
Yeah.
383
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,683
- What is that?
- Those are the marks.
384
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,969
There's still some more to learn,
I guess, isn't there?
385
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,167
His thoughts are fine.
386
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,129
Let's just imagine ourselves,
for a minute...
387
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:10,281
I think it's okay to...
388
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,126
- Everybody here knows how to share.
- Could you please just stop?
389
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,160
You have an opinion
on what's being said here?
390
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,206
It's your first day here,
391
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,125
and you're alienating yourself
from the entire group.
392
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,521
Are you saying
that I should hide what I think
393
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,648
in order to become part of a group?
394
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,481
No.
395
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,881
Why are you looking at the group?
396
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,361
- I'm not!
- Yeah, you are.
397
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,521
Why are you lying?
398
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,120
- I'm not lying!
- Why are you lying?
399
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,366
- I'm not lying.
- Why are you lying?
400
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,363
And it seems
we've reached an impasse.
401
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,569
And we'll just take a couple of minutes
to cool down, three minutes,
402
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,121
and we'll come back to the circle.
Okay?
403
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,964
It's all right.
No touching, please.
404
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,281
- Luna, why don't you color?
- Because I'm uninspired.
405
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,721
Okay, why don't you take a look
at the books on the shelf.
406
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,683
Maybe they'll give you
some inspiration.
407
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,723
Here we go.
408
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,120
Van Gogh.
409
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,288
Top member of the Bipolar Club.
410
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,926
You see this?
411
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,610
- Yes, it's beautiful.
- Yeah, that's right.
412
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,569
- You know why?
- Why?
413
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,200
Because it's the painting
of the sky he saw
414
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,204
from his sanitarium window
while he was manic.
415
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,044
- Really?
- Yeah.
416
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,804
You don't believe me?
Go look it up.
417
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,961
I believe you.
418
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,724
Well, when you go out tonight,
419
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,247
and you look at the sky
and you see how dull it is,
420
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,687
think about if you
would've medicated Van Gogh.
421
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,401
Luna.
422
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,289
What kind of poetry do you do?
423
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,601
Rap.
424
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,091
- You rap?
- Yeah.
425
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,170
When I first went manic,
I just started rhyming compulsively,
426
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,085
but, you know,
that's a textbook manic symptom.
427
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,720
- Really?
- Yeah.
428
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,008
You don't believe me?
Go look it up.
429
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,686
Can you show us some?
430
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,571
Give me a word.
431
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,606
Anti-Christ.
432
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,329
I fancy the delight...
433
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,364
of what it might be like
434
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,847
to be thought of as the Anti-Christ.
435
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,170
Anti-body to humanity.
436
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,203
Because, God damn it,
437
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,562
if you handed me the planet,
438
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,121
I'd give it such an apocalyptic rinse
439
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,971
- that would rid it of these lice.
- How about shameless?
440
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,008
I'm so shameless,
441
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,527
I have no chains of shame to restrain
442
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,921
what I do or say or think,
443
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,970
afraid that people
might be ashamed of it.
444
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,326
Alone.
445
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,401
I may be alone,
446
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,370
but at least I don't feel alone
447
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,130
with the closest people I know
448
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,931
because I changed myself
into something fake
449
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,730
to gain the group's praise
450
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,723
till I don't even know my own soul,
451
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:14,961
which, if you ask me,
452
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,441
is the loneliest state of being alone.
453
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,686
Is that it?
454
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,521
No more words?
455
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,763
I see, you'd rather read that?
What is that, real poetry?
456
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,321
Let's see.
457
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,448
- Hey. Hey.
- Luna.
458
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,251
"The sun shined as bright
as its flame could blaze..."
459
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,481
- I'm getting the doctor!
- Okay! Okay!
460
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,920
Oh! Oh-oh!
461
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,970
- "Trying so hard each day to reach down..."
- Would you stop it!
462
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,122
- "And touch each face."
- Stop it!
463
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,649
"But they all turned away,
bitterly squinting, wincing,
464
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,610
so no matter how much it reached out
to the human race,
465
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,526
it knew it would always be estranged."
466
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,644
We are all bipolar.
Sometimes it's like a molar.
467
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,371
You wanna take it out,
you want to be better.
468
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,045
So, don't sweat the weather.
469
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,526
Check out the solar power.
470
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:49,806
It's the rhyming hour.
471
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,770
The first card is the symbol cradle.
472
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,281
Don't worry, it's the symbol of life,
nothing fatal.
473
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,649
I'm gonna strap you down and stick
one of these nurses' syringes into you.
474
00:28:58,840 --> 00:28:59,921
That doesn't rhyme.
475
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,402
Don't even stop to think about it.
Just let it all go. You be the vessel.
476
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,130
Okay, that's where
the best stuff just happens.
477
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,044
Just let it in and spit it out.
478
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,407
But good, though.
479
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,568
- You graduated, Luna.
- What?
480
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,649
You're one level higher. Yeah.
481
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,531
- Couldn't sleep?
- No.
482
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,729
- Want something to help?
- No, I'm just gonna go to the art room.
483
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,086
Can't sleep?
484
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,401
No.
485
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,204
So Emily,
486
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,045
can I ask you
what your full fake name is?
487
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,002
Emily Lowell.
488
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,481
Is that Emily Dickinson
and Robert Lowell?
489
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,088
Those are good poets.
490
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,200
Do you know they were both bipolar?
491
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,807
You think every great artist was bipolar.
492
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,650
It's fine if it helps you.
493
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,482
"We of the craft are all crazy..."
494
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,722
"Some are affected by gaiety,
others with melancholy.
495
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,403
But all are more or less touched."
496
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:16,886
You know who said that?
497
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,124
Lord Byron.
498
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,571
One of the greatest
manic-depressive poets of all time.
499
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:34,324
It's in the opening to this book,
Touched with Fire by Kay Jamison.
500
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,131
She's a psychologist,
501
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:42,161
and when she was first starting out,
502
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:47,850
she, out of nowhere,
had this manic episode.
503
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,571
It scared her.
504
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,286
So she tried to keep it a secret.
505
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,727
But then... something changed.
506
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,205
She decided to write books about it.
507
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,762
She did all this research, and she found
all these crazy connections
508
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:09,083
between bipolar and artistic genius
509
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,443
all through history,
all over the world.
510
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,251
Instead of being ashamed of it...
511
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,684
she made it a gift.
512
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,531
You know, when people go
to see The Nutcracker...
513
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,005
and they look over at their kids
and they see their eyes light up
514
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,960
when the world
turns to magic at night...
515
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,126
they'll know that the music
that Tchaikovsky composed
516
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:44,808
was enriched by his bipolar,
and not think of it as just a disease.
517
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,004
When I look at the river, I mean,
518
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,367
that's a symbol for two things
coming together.
519
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,411
That could be the end of a journey,
or two people.
520
00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,607
Anything else?
521
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,286
Well, I mean, you can have more
if you want more.
522
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,680
There's a house.
523
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,241
Yeah, Luna,
I just told Emily's fortune.
524
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,243
Huh?
525
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,448
- Come on, I want to hear yours.
- Put 'em together.
526
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,045
- Take a seat.
- What?
527
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,929
She wants to read your cards.
528
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,202
She got a moon.
529
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,010
You got a moon?
530
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,566
That's interesting.
531
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,722
She got two rivers meeting.
532
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,525
Why is it interesting?
533
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,967
You know that we're made up
of mostly water?
534
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,083
And the moon pulls water.
535
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,562
Well, that's just the sun that does that.
I just reflect it.
536
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,609
But when the sun's down,
we see the moon.
537
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:47,761
That's the light.
538
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,088
That's true, but that's just
the light from the sun
539
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,244
hitting the moon, shining back.
540
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,880
Couldn't sleep again?
541
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,041
No.
542
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,201
Well, that's weird.
543
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,567
It's the same time as last night.
544
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,089
Must be something to do with the moon.
545
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,123
Why did you name yourself Luna?
546
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,530
Because the lunatic looks
to the moon as if asking it
547
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,330
how he got stuck down here.
548
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,328
Where are you from?
549
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,371
Yeah, I know you're from the moon,
but what about your parents?
550
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,881
My father's from here.
551
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,281
My mother's from where I'm from.
552
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,323
She used to wake me
in the middle of the night
553
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,608
and take me out to look at the stars.
554
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,367
Imagine jumping
from star to star to star.
555
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:02,480
And your dad?
556
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,368
He falls with most dads.
557
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:11,765
They don't like to see their girls...
struggle.
558
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,166
So...
559
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,961
I don't see him much.
560
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,806
I guess...
I guess I make him sad.
561
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,524
We're not from here, you and me.
562
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,491
Feels like that.
563
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,680
How'd you get stuck here?
564
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,286
It's embarrassing.
565
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,323
- Tell you, if you tell me.
- Okay, you tell me first.
566
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,047
Okay.
567
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,330
You forced your eyes opened,
and stared into the sun.
568
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,050
Is that what triggered it?
569
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,646
You know what?
570
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,002
We're both really exhausted.
571
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,003
I know I am.
572
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,925
There's no way that we're going
to get through all this tonight.
573
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,045
You should spend the night,
and first thing in the morning,
574
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,487
we'll go over all of this in detail.
575
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,405
Sign this and check yourself in,
576
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:18,122
and we will do a thorough
examination of your case
577
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,084
first thing in the morning.
578
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,640
You accidentally checked yourself
into a mental institution?
579
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:23,886
- Just for one night.
- No.
580
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,724
For one night.
581
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,123
- It's not that funny.
- It's stupid.
582
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,362
Okay.
583
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,010
Now it's your turn.
584
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,846
I climbed to the top of a building.
585
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:52,210
I looked up to the moon...
586
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,248
asking it to take me home.
587
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,521
And all of a sudden...
588
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,202
I felt this light shining on my face.
589
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:13,564
And I thought,
"My God.
590
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,645
It's working.
591
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,966
I get to go home."
592
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,204
And...
593
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,407
Know what?
594
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:52,931
You know, maybe...
595
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,923
Maybe you're right.
596
00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:08,164
I mean, maybe we are aliens.
597
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,685
You, too?
598
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,126
Maybe.
599
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:25,131
Lunatic mind ticks in sync
with lunar time.
600
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,802
The more the moon pulls the tides,
the more it lifts our minds,
601
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:30,803
and the more the sunlight
shines on the moon,
602
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,405
the more manic we become.
603
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,481
This is a normal brain,
lit up just in a few places.
604
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:59,129
But this, this is a manic brain,
fully lit.
605
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,964
That's what you call illumination.
606
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,325
- It's the sages.
- I know.
607
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,246
It's the prophets through the ages
who know about the gods.
608
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,722
The prophets, when they were manic,
that was when
609
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,406
they were almost reaching
full illumination.
610
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,289
And that was right before they died.
611
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,090
That's the 13th hour.
That's what you're talking about.
612
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:20,924
- Right, that's what I'm saying.
- That's illumination.
613
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,003
Look at these pyramids.
614
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,200
They all face the heavens.
615
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,608
This is intricate cosmic mapping,
ways out.
616
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,643
These all have to do with escaping
617
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,286
to somehow getting out
of the body, this flesh...
618
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,683
Well, they did find certain stones,
metals, that absorb energy.
619
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,089
And the metals absorb the heavens
620
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,242
reaching up to the tip
of the pyramid to the sun,
621
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:41,965
inviting its light in.
622
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,962
Yes, yeah, put it in.
623
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:57,441
Silverware, silverware.
624
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,489
Yeah, we need a transmitter.
625
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,001
- These are for the antenna?
- Yeah.
626
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,969
They'll get out, yeah.
627
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,965
That's not gonna work.
What can we use?
628
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,530
Use this.
629
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,011
Stick it in there.
630
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,049
I don't know if these things
are strong enough.
631
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:24,720
There are four sides to each pyramid.
632
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,600
This is a view from...
of the third pyramid.
633
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:28,210
The three pyramids,
four sides to each one.
634
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,129
There is 12.
635
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,845
- 12 months.
- 2012.
636
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,162
- 12 hours.
- 12 apostles.
637
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:42,490
Dr. Strinsky doesn't want you two
coming out at night anymore.
638
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,964
So...
639
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,331
Could I have something
to help me sleep?
640
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,442
No reaction.
You know what?
641
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,206
The more down-to-earth they are,
the deeper they sleep.
642
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,203
Okay. Don't wait, then.
643
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,803
- Okay, no. Yeah.
- I'm going to stretch that over.
644
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,009
What if our souls get lost?
645
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,525
They won't.
646
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,727
We'll keep each other oriented.
647
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,730
What if we lose each other?
648
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,884
If we lose each other,
then we come back to our bodies.
649
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,930
Okay, we come back to our bodies,
and we remember this.
650
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,122
We remember this map.
Okay?
651
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,203
And we remember it's in this book.
652
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,250
And it'll be on this page, all right?
653
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,322
And it'll be right here
in the top right corner.
654
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,811
Okay?
655
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:11,566
Are you ready?
656
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,531
Yeah.
657
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,885
The nurses tell me you two have
continued to stay up at night together
658
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,008
even after I instructed you not to.
659
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,446
First reports say you
stayed up until 4:00 A. M.
660
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,723
And the more recent reports
say you haven't slept at all.
661
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,929
So, we're going to move you,
Marco, to a different ward.
662
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,082
- Why?
- Because you have a bad influence...
663
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:57,605
- But, why?
- No, we don't.
664
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,922
Is it true that neither of you
thinks you're from this planet?
665
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,401
Because we're not from this planet.
666
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,881
Okay, sit.
Where do you think you're from?
667
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,522
- Would someone from your planet do this?
- Marco. Sit down.
668
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,047
- You know what? You can't separate...
- Would someone from your planet do that?
669
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,804
That's not fair.
670
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,048
- Would they?
- Fuck you!
671
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,520
- Don't you go near her.
- N-N-No!
672
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:17,607
Marco! Marco!
673
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,450
- Fuck you!
- No, Marco! No!
674
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,209
No! No!
675
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,125
- Get them off!
- No, you motherfucker!
676
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:39,121
Hold her...
677
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,085
No!
678
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,844
No!
679
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,767
Let us go home!
680
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,810
Please, let us go home!
681
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:14,880
We just want to go home.
682
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,369
Why is he so sedated?
683
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,240
He was with a female patient,
684
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,561
and they made each other manic.
685
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:37,406
We separated them and they
became even more manic.
686
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,009
How long is he going to be like that?
687
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,887
It's not just the medication.
688
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:50,046
Because the mania got so
out of control and he went so high,
689
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,249
he's going to go just as low
with the depression.
690
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,170
It's going to be severe.
691
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,570
It'll be about six months.
692
00:45:59,720 --> 00:46:03,884
We would keep him here,
but the hospital just can't afford it.
693
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,566
I suggest that he live with you
for a while.
694
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,844
Wake up.
Made you dinner.
695
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,091
Taken a shower?
696
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,001
Just take a bath?
697
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:35,327
Yeah.
698
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,131
Didn't you take one,
like, four hours ago?
699
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:40,565
It's the same one.
700
00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:43,451
You've been in the tub for four hours?
701
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,931
It comforts me.
702
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,921
Oh.
703
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:39,485
I didn't see you there.
704
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:42,686
How you feelin'?
705
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:44,766
Same.
706
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,088
Meet me on the other side.
707
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:33,931
What if we lose each other?
708
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,805
If we lose each other,
then we come back to our bodies.
709
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,930
Okay, we come back to our bodies,
and we remember this.
710
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,889
We remember this map, okay?
711
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,000
Yo, yo, I got another joke.
I got another joke.
712
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,805
I was a patient here,
back in the fall.
713
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,122
There was this girl who was in my ward.
714
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,169
I don't have her contact information.
715
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,688
Yeah, we can't give out
patient's information,
716
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:33,968
for confidentiality reasons.
717
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,290
Is Dr. Strinsky here?
718
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:40,885
Hey, Carla.
719
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:43,570
Hey.
720
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,842
Listen, I know it's hospital policy
721
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,122
not to give out patient's information,
722
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,726
but if you hadn't torn us apart,
723
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,809
we would've exchanged information.
724
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:04,009
I'm sorry, but no matter what,
it's out of my hands.
725
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:13,607
Will you at least tell me
if he came looking for me?
726
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,209
No, he didn't.
727
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:20,805
Marco.
728
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,964
I already told you,
I'm not giving you her information.
729
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,327
Okay. Can you just give her this,
if she comes in?
730
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:27,925
Let me see.
731
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:43,649
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to give this to her.
732
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,604
But that's not personal information.
733
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:47,689
That's not against hospital policy.
734
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,127
It's not just policy, Marco.
735
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:51,520
You two made each other manic
736
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,240
when you were together
in the hospital.
737
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,727
It's my professional opinion
738
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,689
that you're not healthy
for one another.
739
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,811
Have a seat.
I'll tell Dr. Strinsky that you're back.
740
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:04,726
What did you think...
741
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,649
seeing it up close?
742
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,763
I thought it was...
743
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,001
It was cool.
744
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,531
What did you think?
745
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:16,006
I thought it was nice.
746
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,689
You didn't like it, did you?
747
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:26,208
I guess I just...
748
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:28,690
It wasn't...
749
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,964
Do you remember what this looked like
when we were in the hospital?
750
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,648
You've just come out of the depression.
751
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:51,283
You haven't been in a physical relationship
for quite a while.
752
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:53,522
- It's understandable.
- No, it's not just that.
753
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:57,446
I don't feel the emotion
that I should feel for her.
754
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,207
Well, you won't have the passion you had
when you were manic.
755
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,364
You're going to have to learn to live
within a normal range of emotions.
756
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:06,568
This isn't a normal range.
757
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,609
I don't feel anything.
758
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:15,847
You've lived in emotional extremes
for so long,
759
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,401
you've no way of knowing
what normal feels like.
760
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:22,000
And it's going to take you
some time to learn.
761
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:25,764
Okay. Okay.
762
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:32,369
I've been calling.
Why didn't you pick up?
763
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,010
I'm sorry...
764
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,367
You know, I'm still not comfortable
with you living on your own.
765
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:37,760
So that might worry me a little bit.
766
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,251
- Mom...
- What, you're...
767
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:41,402
Do you think maybe I could come
and visit you tomorrow?
768
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:42,971
You're not going to let me come in?
769
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,049
Well, I'm just...
Well, I'm...
770
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:46,531
- You know how...
- Please, sweetie, I just...
771
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,286
just let me in
or I'm not going to sleep tonight.
772
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,329
- Mom...
- Oh.
773
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,642
- Hello.
- Hello.
774
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:57,410
Who's that?
775
00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:59,731
Come on in.
776
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,446
Marco, this is my mom.
777
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:05,801
- Hello.
- Mom, this is Marco.
778
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,291
Hello.
779
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,562
- Wow. Very nice to meet you.
- Hi.
780
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:10,960
Nice to meet you.
781
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,004
We were just reading
Touched with Fire.
782
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,288
- It's a great book. Do you know it?
- No.
783
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:18,965
Really?
Carla never told you about it?
784
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:22,203
No. So how do you two
know each other?
785
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:23,964
- Oh...
- He's a poet.
786
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:29,251
Um...
787
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,650
I'm hungry.
788
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,609
Do you guys want to
go get some food?
789
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:35,967
- I'd love that.
- Great.
790
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:37,531
I'm not really hungry.
791
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,170
Well, at least come along
for the conversation.
792
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:40,401
You don't have to eat.
793
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,131
If anything, your mouth
will be more free to talk.
794
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,520
Do you like spicy food?
795
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,963
I don't know. Maybe.
796
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,600
- I know this place that has a really...
- You know, I'm tired.
797
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,081
Oh, really?
Why do you think you're tired?
798
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,208
I kinda just want to stay in.
799
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:58,165
Okay. Well, maybe
we could pick up something
800
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:59,521
for you and bring it back.
801
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,365
No, I just... I'll come back
another time if you're tired.
802
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,284
Are you ashamed of me?
803
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,010
- What?
- Are you ashamed of me?
804
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,089
No. What are you talking about?
805
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:09,605
Why didn't you tell her?
806
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:13,965
I don't know.
807
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:22,881
I guess I'm just afraid of...
of them tearing us apart.
808
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:24,883
They can't tear us apart.
809
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:30,524
We have to tell them.
810
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,321
Okay.
811
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:36,488
So, I just...
812
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,122
I want to orient myself,
if you don't mind.
813
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:44,803
My wife, you know, Sara,
had updated me a little
814
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:46,803
on the background
of the situation.
815
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:50,760
You met Carla in the hospital?
816
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:56,051
- That's right.
- We met in, well, group therapy.
817
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:59,363
They... We have to do
group therapy every day.
818
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:01,568
That's nice that you were able
to connect in that environment.
819
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,046
Yeah, absolutely.
820
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,965
And, but right...
821
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:10,364
This was right before
you both went manic.
822
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:16,005
When you have this illness, you...
823
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:19,369
actually go manic
before you go into the hospital, Dad.
824
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,522
Oh, of course.
Well, that's true.
825
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:24,286
I'm sorry. No, I meant the...
but right after you met,
826
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,488
then what would we say,
you went more manic.
827
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,483
- More.
- It did increase, is it...
828
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:31,371
Well, we brought out each other's nature,
if that's what you're driving at.
829
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:33,600
- So you...
- I guess that's one way of putting it...
830
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:36,763
You admit that you
bring out each other's illness, right?
831
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:41,443
No, I'm saying that it's our nature
to feel things more deeply
832
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,204
than what's considered normal.
833
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:44,805
And not...
That's really not what...
834
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:48,407
I understand it,
that it's sort of not a norm.
835
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,040
I understand that it's an illness...
836
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:52,891
I don't think
we should get caught up, if I may,
837
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,725
just on whether it's a disease
or nature or something.
838
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,962
I think the point is,
and the reason we're here,
839
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:00,805
is, you both have it,
840
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:04,043
and I guess we're just concerned
841
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,208
that you might be
a bad influence on each other.
842
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,407
That's it.
843
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:10,211
Well, but because we both share it,
844
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,330
we're the only ones
that can relate to each other.
845
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,289
It's beautiful.
846
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,010
Well, I understand that.
847
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,730
Excuse me,
but you understand that?
848
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,729
The doct... remember,
the doctors told us?
849
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:23,161
I mean, let's face it.
850
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:25,846
You know, if they signed up
for a dating website,
851
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,445
you know,
and they put down "mentally ill,"
852
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,001
it's not like they're going to attract
a whole lot of people saying,
853
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,481
"Oh, that's my soul mate."
Right?
854
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:37,242
Maybe this is a chance
for them to have a real relationship.
855
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:40,603
You know, and if they stay
on the medication,
856
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:42,205
quite frankly,
I got no problem with that.
857
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,760
But that's the whole issue, right?
858
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,569
Mom, can you just listen to him?
859
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:47,404
- We can't take the meds.
- Mom, just... just listen...
860
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,801
Okay, well, just as I thought.
861
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:51,724
- What are you talking about?
- You know what I'm talking about.
862
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:55,168
Marco, listen.
You know that it's going to take time
863
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,721
till you find the right dosage, right?
864
01:02:57,880 --> 01:02:59,564
Even the doctor,
the doctor has said
865
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:02,644
that eventually you are going to feel
866
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,569
the wide range of normal emotions.
867
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,609
And how does he know?
He's not taking the meds.
868
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:08,880
The doctor does not take the meds,
and you know that.
869
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:10,530
So, then I can't just trust him.
870
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,610
I don't think it's such a bad thing
871
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:17,082
to feel life with the deepest emotion.
872
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,891
- I don't think that's a problem.
- It's an illness.
873
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:21,201
Well, maybe for you,
874
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:23,280
because maybe you
have a low emotional capacity,
875
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:25,203
and so to you,
it makes you feel sick.
876
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,970
No, I don't have...
Wait a minute.
877
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,361
- I don't have a low emotional capacity.
- Wait, it's not an attack.
878
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,204
- I feel things just fine.
- I'm sorry. I understand.
879
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,522
- Mom, you don't have to get upset.
- I don't... My only question...
880
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:35,364
Well, how dare he say that.
881
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,524
- Okay, as an example, if you...
- He's just talking.
882
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:40,842
...like, how many hours do you spend
a week with your husband?
883
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:42,530
- Oh, my God.
- This is really not gonna...
884
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:43,841
this is not about us, again.
885
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,049
- As many hours as any married...
- I'd like to answer that.
886
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,043
- Okay.
- We spend many hours a week together.
887
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,407
I would spend every waking moment
888
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:52,561
- with your daughter.
- Okay. I...
889
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:56,048
So you mean, insanity is love,
890
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:59,522
that you have to be crazy to be in love?
Is that what you're saying?
891
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:02,604
That's not what I'm saying.
You don't understand, Dad.
892
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,001
I understand more than you know.
893
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:09,370
And if you think that there's
any romance in being crazy,
894
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:11,090
you're crazy.
895
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:14,807
No, if you understood,
then Mom wouldn't have left.
896
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,404
Your mother,
she left because she was sick.
897
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,769
She left because
you thought she was sick,
898
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:26,962
because she was wild.
899
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:31,569
And you were tame,
and you wanted to tame her, Dad.
900
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:33,842
- So where is her love now?
- Dad.
901
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:35,047
No, really, where is it?
902
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,680
When was the last time
you heard from your mother?
903
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:41,724
- Excuse me.
- Oh, my God.
904
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,806
You can't listen to him.
He's wrong. You know that.
905
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:52,962
This is not a gift.
It's an illness.
906
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:54,884
It needs to be treated.
907
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:56,371
I've gotten you
through so much, honey.
908
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,683
You have to trust me right now
because sometimes your illness
909
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:02,810
doesn't let you think completely clearly.
But you've gotta believe me.
910
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,520
- Carla, please don't...
- Don't be upset now, come on.
911
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,967
"We awoke from our sleep
and left our sanity beside our bed,
912
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:16,607
peeled off those sedative sheets...
913
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,491
released our eyelids' grip
on their protective lens...
914
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:24,366
and let the whole miracle in
against all defense,
915
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:26,841
past the shattering glass.
916
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,288
God, grant us that view...
917
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,962
and all its blindness due. "
918
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,405
What is that?
919
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,923
"A child to rise
from our fiery seeds,
920
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:41,051
that burned across our bloodlines
for lifetimes, to finally meet. "
921
01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:42,929
"And find a face for the first time
922
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:46,607
in the reflection
between our locked eyes.
923
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:50,242
"And in their vision,
in a sudden flash of recognition
924
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:52,880
of our place in the Grand Design,
925
01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:56,766
our child will be let
into the gates of creation. "
926
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,531
"Touched with both our fires,
927
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,365
to burn twice as high as you and I. "
928
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:07,048
Hey, Marco,
let's give our baby this book
929
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:10,204
so that when he starts to know
what he has,
930
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:12,124
he's gonna know the beauty in it.
931
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:16,886
Hello!
932
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:20,408
- Hey, how are you?
- Joe!
933
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,324
Okay, thanks.
934
01:10:22,480 --> 01:10:25,370
Is Marco here?
I'm his father.
935
01:10:25,520 --> 01:10:27,841
Oh, no.
I haven't seen him in weeks.
936
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:29,729
- Weeks?
- Yeah.
937
01:10:29,880 --> 01:10:30,961
Okay.
938
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:46,491
I'm going to see what she wants.
939
01:10:50,480 --> 01:10:52,050
Hey, Mom.
940
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:56,164
Uh, actually, we're busy.
941
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:58,163
Oh, really, because I wouldjust...
942
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,607
I would love to just get together
with you and Marco
943
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:03,604
and hear about
what you guys are doing.
944
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,569
You know, just clear the air.
945
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:12,007
- I don't know, Mom...
- Honey, I really...
946
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:13,804
I really want to work things out.
I do.
947
01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:16,850
I just... I don't want to
not see you because of this.
948
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:20,807
You know, I don't want to lose you
for stupid reasons.
949
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,684
Neither do I.
950
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:36,770
- Hi, Marco.
- Hello.
951
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:37,967
- How are you?
- Hi, Marco.
952
01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:39,770
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
953
01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:41,684
- Hi, Marco.
- Hello.
954
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:43,126
- How you doing?
- Are you guys hungry?
955
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:44,964
- We have some...
- Oh, you've left the door open.
956
01:11:45,120 --> 01:11:46,770
I'll get that. I'll get that.
It's not important.
957
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:48,570
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
958
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:50,802
What are you...
What's he doing here?
959
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:53,566
- Oh, we invited him.
- What are you doing here?
960
01:11:53,720 --> 01:11:55,609
- Why? You weren't...
- We love you,
961
01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:57,603
- and we want what's best for you.
- What's going on?
962
01:11:57,760 --> 01:11:58,920
- I brought some people.
- No.
963
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,001
- No! Stop!
- It's fine.
964
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:02,120
- No, he doesn't get to come in here.
- Calm down.
965
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:03,730
- It's okay.
- N-N-No. Stop!
966
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:05,251
He doesn't get to come in here!
967
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:06,845
Marco, just calm down, okay?
968
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,731
You're a danger to yourself
and to others.
969
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:11,166
You guys need help, okay?
970
01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:13,084
You're off your meds
and you're manic.
971
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:16,084
- You need help.
- No! Fucking, no!
972
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:17,924
Dad, you fucked me!
973
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:19,320
You can't fucking do it.
974
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:22,240
- Your family loves you...
- Dad, I will never fucking forgive you.
975
01:12:22,280 --> 01:12:23,406
I will never...
976
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:25,164
- You fucking sold me down the river.
- I'm sorry.
977
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:28,443
...very much.
Take a breath, Marco.
978
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:30,682
Okay, no, you're right.
979
01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:35,209
It's okay. All right?
980
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:37,886
- Hey.
- We'll go, okay?
981
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,171
- Hey, sweetie.
- It's really okay.
982
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:44,960
- It's going to be fine.
- Don't touch me.
983
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:46,286
- No, no, Carla.
- Okay, sweetie, I understand.
984
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:48,329
No! No!
985
01:12:48,480 --> 01:12:49,686
No, don't!
986
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:53,129
Fucker!
987
01:13:18,480 --> 01:13:20,926
We have to go away.
988
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:23,691
If they find us,
they'll stop us from having our child.
989
01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:27,524
They won't want us to bring
a child like us into the world.
990
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,130
I understand.
991
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:37,245
Well, could you let me know
if you hear anything at all?
992
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:39,926
Thanks so much.
I was really worried.
993
01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:47,491
This way.
994
01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:54,447
We should go into the wild
where they can't find us.
995
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:58,122
We can raise a child there.
996
01:13:58,280 --> 01:14:00,806
He won't have to grow up going
through what we went through.
997
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:04,481
He'll be free to live
the way he was made to be.
998
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:38,442
This is the place.
999
01:14:38,600 --> 01:14:40,841
This is the place we'll raise our child.
1000
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:45,121
Everything around him just as wild.
1001
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:32,924
Oh, shit.
1002
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:41,725
What are we gonna do?
1003
01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,927
- I'm gonna drive in the river.
- What?
1004
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,201
We'll have Nature's support.
1005
01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:09,406
I got you.
1006
01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:01,571
First of all, I'd like to say
that we were very fortunate
1007
01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:04,331
to catch things as early as we did.
1008
01:17:04,480 --> 01:17:07,927
That's especially true
in light of today's news.
1009
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:10,769
Carla's pregnant.
1010
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:14,845
And I want everyone here
to know that myself
1011
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:17,446
and the staff here at the hospital
are prepared to do
1012
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:20,809
everything that we possibly can
to help her and Marco
1013
01:17:20,960 --> 01:17:23,725
in their transition to the outside world.
1014
01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:26,722
Wow, I really want to be
happy about this,
1015
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:28,450
but I'm sorry, I can't.
1016
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:29,647
I can't be.
1017
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:34,124
We promise that
we're both gonna take our medication.
1018
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:37,443
We're both responsible in the situation.
1019
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:40,126
You know,
my daughter means everything to me.
1020
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:42,487
And I would help you to get a job.
1021
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:44,688
Thank you.
1022
01:17:49,080 --> 01:17:51,242
- You have your interview tomorrow, right?
- Yeah.
1023
01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:52,840
You know, I was thinking about that.
1024
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:55,201
Do you know what
I was thinking would be cool?
1025
01:17:56,720 --> 01:17:59,644
Maybe I could walk dogs.
1026
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:01,689
I'd be out there,
I'd be working, you know?
1027
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:03,842
I'd be, the same time,
taking everything in,
1028
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:05,889
the sounds, the trees,
1029
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:08,008
the buildings, the...
just all of it,
1030
01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:10,282
sort of just absorbing all of that,
and then like,
1031
01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:14,604
letting that sort of be infused
into my poetry, you know?
1032
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:16,330
We did tell our parents
1033
01:18:16,480 --> 01:18:18,323
that we were going to try
to support ourselves with...
1034
01:18:18,480 --> 01:18:21,529
Exactly. And that's why
I'm thinking of things to do.
1035
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:24,889
I mean, I just don't know
how much you would get paid.
1036
01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:28,965
With the baby we're going to have
diapers and blankets
1037
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:33,284
and food and supplies and school
1038
01:18:33,440 --> 01:18:37,161
and strollers and the rent
and, you know,
1039
01:18:37,320 --> 01:18:39,846
- play dates with birthday parties...
- Okay, okay.
1040
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,729
- I mean, it's just gonna...
- Okay. Okay.
1041
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:43,450
- You know?
- I know.
1042
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:45,284
You're right.
1043
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:07,127
She's like the cutest
little roly-poly thing ever.
1044
01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:08,440
- Just want to eat her.
- Wow.
1045
01:19:08,560 --> 01:19:10,164
She's like a...
1046
01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:30,526
Hey, look.
1047
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:33,321
That's cool.
1048
01:19:33,480 --> 01:19:35,801
Hey, what do you think
if we, like, painted
1049
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:37,604
like, a giant mural of Starry Night,
1050
01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:39,364
like, all over the walls?
1051
01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:42,330
I love it.
That's a great idea.
1052
01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:43,720
Yeah.
1053
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,161
And then we could, like,
fill the ceiling
1054
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:49,927
with all those glow-in-the-dark stars,
you know?
1055
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:51,320
- Yeah.
- Like those stickers.
1056
01:19:51,480 --> 01:19:55,963
Yeah, and maybe we could hang some up
here, you know, like a baby-mobile.
1057
01:19:56,120 --> 01:19:58,407
Yeah.
And, you know what we could do?
1058
01:19:58,600 --> 01:20:01,729
- We could make, like, constellations.
- Yeah.
1059
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,008
And we could, like,
invent our own constellations.
1060
01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:06,208
Like, we can, like,
go back and forth with it.
1061
01:20:06,400 --> 01:20:09,609
And, like, imagine, like... imagine
the three of us, like, all together,
1062
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:11,569
publishing this, like, big book
1063
01:20:11,720 --> 01:20:15,202
with, like, all of the, like, illustrations
of all the different constellations.
1064
01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:17,840
What's wrong?
1065
01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:19,087
Nothing.
1066
01:20:19,240 --> 01:20:21,971
Well, you don't seem that...
you don't seem that excited.
1067
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:23,485
No, I'm really excited.
1068
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:26,720
You know what I was thinking?
1069
01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:32,370
I was thinking that we could put
the bookshelf right there.
1070
01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:33,760
And then we could maybe have...
1071
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:35,643
- Whoa, wait! That's perfect!
- ...a rocking chair right here, right?
1072
01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:37,131
- No, that's perfect.
- Isn't that perfect?
1073
01:20:37,280 --> 01:20:38,441
Hang on, I'm gonna get it.
1074
01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:55,285
- I love it.
- Oh, that reminds me.
1075
01:20:59,240 --> 01:21:01,481
Look. Look-look-look-look-look.
1076
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,568
Remember?
1077
01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,324
- Yes.
- And.
1078
01:21:12,160 --> 01:21:13,730
The Bible.
1079
01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:23,562
- Marco. Marco.
- What?
1080
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:28,649
Have you been taking your medication?
1081
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:31,850
Uh...
1082
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:35,366
No.
1083
01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:39,481
No.
1084
01:21:41,640 --> 01:21:43,130
I can't.
1085
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,446
We decided that, you know,
we weren't gonna...
1086
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:50,728
- I know. We did.
- ...gonna do anything,
1087
01:21:50,920 --> 01:21:52,922
you know, reckless
because I'm pregnant.
1088
01:21:53,080 --> 01:21:55,367
That doesn't mean
we have to take the medication.
1089
01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,209
I can get him to go back on the meds.
1090
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:00,771
No, you can't.
1091
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:02,410
Yes, I can.
1092
01:22:04,280 --> 01:22:05,520
We have to.
1093
01:22:05,680 --> 01:22:08,047
Carla, you can't.
1094
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:09,486
If he didn't get the message
1095
01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:11,688
after he almost killed
the two of you in the river,
1096
01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:13,330
he's not going to get it.
1097
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:15,448
Then what are you suggesting?
1098
01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:18,251
I don't see how you can stay with him.
1099
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:23,484
What are you saying?
That I shouldn't have this child if...
1100
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:26,325
I just want to be really clear.
Okay?
1101
01:22:26,480 --> 01:22:31,008
You want to raise a child
with a psychotic manic parent.
1102
01:23:16,840 --> 01:23:17,921
- Hi.
- Hi.
1103
01:23:18,080 --> 01:23:19,411
- I'm Carla.
- Hi. Kay Jamison.
1104
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:21,240
- Nice to meet you.
- How do you do? Marco.
1105
01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:23,440
- Nice to meet you.
- It's such an honor to meet you.
1106
01:23:23,560 --> 01:23:24,971
Well, thank you.
1107
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:26,640
This is incredible.
I have to tell you,
1108
01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:30,731
you know, your books
have just been so meaningful to us,
1109
01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:34,851
and they've really helped us through a lot,
you know, both Carla and myself.
1110
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:36,001
Well, I'm glad.
Thank you.
1111
01:23:36,160 --> 01:23:37,764
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
1112
01:23:39,920 --> 01:23:42,161
Yeah, so May 1 st, we're due,
1113
01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:45,847
and we know there's
certain sacrifices that go along
1114
01:23:46,040 --> 01:23:49,010
with, you know... which...
1115
01:23:49,160 --> 01:23:52,084
Yeah, which you mentioned in terms
of taking medication,
1116
01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:53,765
whether or not to take medication
1117
01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:55,962
or whether you
are going to take medication.
1118
01:23:56,120 --> 01:23:58,885
My biggest concern
is just having a child,
1119
01:23:59,040 --> 01:24:00,326
coming into this world,
1120
01:24:00,480 --> 01:24:03,165
you know, welcoming this new life...
1121
01:24:03,880 --> 01:24:07,680
and it sort of being
1122
01:24:08,360 --> 01:24:12,604
around two people who are duller
than they are used to, or...
1123
01:24:12,760 --> 01:24:14,683
When I first was medicated,
I was first medicated
1124
01:24:14,840 --> 01:24:15,966
a very long time ago.
1125
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:18,122
Lithium had just come out
on the market.
1126
01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:21,280
I was kept at a very high dose because
that's what people did at that time,
1127
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:24,006
and I did feel somewhat dead,
and I resisted it.
1128
01:24:24,200 --> 01:24:25,964
But I'm still on lithium,
1129
01:24:26,160 --> 01:24:28,083
and I don't feel in any way inhibited.
1130
01:24:28,240 --> 01:24:30,083
I just don't know how I'm gonna make...
1131
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:34,209
how my creativity is going to be affected.
1132
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:37,648
You're concerned about losing your art
and losing your passion.
1133
01:24:37,840 --> 01:24:39,569
Medication's not going to take
your personality away.
1134
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,569
It's not going to take your own gift.
1135
01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:43,444
It's a fire when it's out of control.
1136
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:47,770
And what medication can do
is to kind of tamp that down a bit
1137
01:24:47,920 --> 01:24:49,604
without losing that gift.
1138
01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:54,641
It took quite a while
for my moods to kind of get in gear.
1139
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:57,565
I have felt infinitely happier.
1140
01:24:57,720 --> 01:24:59,324
I'm more productive.
1141
01:24:59,480 --> 01:25:03,769
I'm more able to count on myself
to produce and write.
1142
01:25:03,920 --> 01:25:07,447
In every aspect of my life
it's been a godsend.
1143
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:09,887
I thought she was really impressive.
Was cool, right?
1144
01:25:10,080 --> 01:25:11,525
She's weak.
1145
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:15,410
She didn't have the strength,
so she gave up.
1146
01:25:15,560 --> 01:25:17,289
- What?
- You could see it in her.
1147
01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:19,966
She was like...
1148
01:25:20,120 --> 01:25:22,566
she wished that she could have
1149
01:25:22,760 --> 01:25:24,330
what those artists have
that she writes about.
1150
01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:25,720
But she doesn't have the guts.
1151
01:25:25,880 --> 01:25:27,644
That's why she writes about them.
1152
01:25:28,880 --> 01:25:33,488
You know, do you think
that Poe or Byron or Tchaikovsky,
1153
01:25:33,640 --> 01:25:35,768
Melville, Hemingway,
would've backed down
1154
01:25:35,920 --> 01:25:37,763
and turned away
from the storm the way she did?
1155
01:25:37,920 --> 01:25:39,410
No. They rode the tides.
1156
01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:41,085
They rode them, but she didn't.
1157
01:25:41,280 --> 01:25:42,645
That's why she writes about them,
1158
01:25:42,800 --> 01:25:46,009
because she wants to be like them
in her fantasy, but she can't.
1159
01:25:46,200 --> 01:25:48,965
Well, I liked what she had to say
about, you know,
1160
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,367
how we can experience full emotion
even more than...
1161
01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:53,648
I don't want the full emotion!
1162
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,760
- Well, then what do you want?
- I want the mania!
1163
01:25:58,040 --> 01:25:59,485
You want the mania?
1164
01:26:08,480 --> 01:26:10,960
- Well, it's fucking crazy.
- Why?
1165
01:26:11,120 --> 01:26:12,610
Because of something
that your doctor told you
1166
01:26:12,760 --> 01:26:14,364
- or something that your parents told you?
- No.
1167
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:17,404
Because you're not willing
to make any sacrifices.
1168
01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:18,971
You say you want a family.
1169
01:26:19,120 --> 01:26:20,451
You say you want love.
1170
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:22,560
But you're not willing to give
anything up for it.
1171
01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:24,847
We're gonna elevate the baby with it.
1172
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:26,445
It's a gift, Carla.
1173
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:27,840
No, no, it's not a gift.
1174
01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:29,365
- And you...
- Fuck!
1175
01:26:30,720 --> 01:26:32,370
What is this?
1176
01:26:33,080 --> 01:26:36,721
This, all this about the poetry,
about the beauty of it?
1177
01:26:36,920 --> 01:26:38,251
Is this just bullshit?
1178
01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:40,323
Let's just fucking cut it out, Carla.
1179
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:41,561
- Don't. Please, no.
- Fucking cancer.
1180
01:26:41,720 --> 01:26:42,846
Yup. Tear it out.
1181
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:46,163
- Stop.
- Why do we wanna infect our baby with this?
1182
01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,049
- Here. You take it, Carla!
- Don't!
1183
01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:54,044
Carla, I'm sorry.
1184
01:27:00,560 --> 01:27:02,369
Carla, I'm so sorry.
1185
01:27:18,320 --> 01:27:19,446
Carla?
1186
01:27:22,360 --> 01:27:23,566
Shit.
1187
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:26,250
Hello?
1188
01:27:33,680 --> 01:27:35,603
I tried calling you all day.
1189
01:27:48,840 --> 01:27:51,969
I didn't mean to push you like that.
1190
01:27:56,520 --> 01:27:58,727
I never want to hurt you.
1191
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,285
I'm so sorry.
1192
01:28:07,280 --> 01:28:08,611
Please.
1193
01:28:25,480 --> 01:28:26,606
Have you been drinking?
1194
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:37,640
Marco.
1195
01:29:17,440 --> 01:29:18,601
- Oh, hey.
- Surprise.
1196
01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:20,489
- Hey, honey.
- Hey.
1197
01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:23,966
What's going on?
1198
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:26,646
- Hey, come here. Surprise.
- What's going on?
1199
01:29:26,840 --> 01:29:28,560
I wanted to throw us
a surprise baby shower.
1200
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:29,720
I called all of our parents,
1201
01:29:29,880 --> 01:29:31,723
and I thought we could have
a surprise baby shower.
1202
01:29:31,880 --> 01:29:33,450
Well, you actually said
it was an urgent meeting,
1203
01:29:33,600 --> 01:29:35,011
- so that's why we rushed over.
- I know.
1204
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:36,924
I wanted it to be
a surprise for all of us.
1205
01:29:37,080 --> 01:29:38,730
Oh, no, it's okay.
So good to see you.
1206
01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:40,609
Hi, sweetheart.
You okay?
1207
01:29:40,760 --> 01:29:41,840
Oh, yeah.
Everything's good.
1208
01:29:41,920 --> 01:29:42,967
- All right.
- It's good.
1209
01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:44,246
- Hi.
- Hi.
1210
01:29:44,440 --> 01:29:45,487
Good to see you.
1211
01:29:45,640 --> 01:29:47,642
Hey, you know, before we...
Hey, wait, hold on, hold on.
1212
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:49,086
- Here you go. Here.
- No, thank you.
1213
01:29:49,240 --> 01:29:50,366
- Before we... Marco.
- Here you go.
1214
01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,440
- Marco, can I talk to you, please?
- Sure, sure.
1215
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:54,761
- Do you guys mind if we just...
- Oh, please, no, that's fine.
1216
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,445
No, I mean, now.
Can we talk?
1217
01:29:56,600 --> 01:29:57,965
Could we talk now?
1218
01:29:58,160 --> 01:30:00,561
Oh, yeah, just give me
one second, okay?
1219
01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:02,404
Let me get this open.
1220
01:30:02,560 --> 01:30:03,641
Just going to open this up.
1221
01:30:03,800 --> 01:30:05,290
- Oh.
- Be careful with that.
1222
01:30:05,440 --> 01:30:06,520
Huh?
1223
01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:08,722
Aah.
1224
01:30:08,920 --> 01:30:11,969
Whoa. Okay.
1225
01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:16,050
- Sorry.
- It's okay. It's all right.
1226
01:30:16,200 --> 01:30:17,281
- There you go.
- Just a little.
1227
01:30:17,440 --> 01:30:19,283
- That's fine.
- Okay? Sure?
1228
01:30:19,440 --> 01:30:20,646
- And a little bit.
- Marco.
1229
01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:21,801
- What?
- Just... What's going on?
1230
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:22,961
- What?
- You all right?
1231
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,884
It's all good.
1232
01:30:26,200 --> 01:30:27,406
Here.
1233
01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:28,846
- You want some?
- You know what?
1234
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:31,651
Oh, you know what?
You probably shouldn't because of the baby.
1235
01:30:31,800 --> 01:30:34,804
I guess a little sip would be okay.
Right?
1236
01:30:34,960 --> 01:30:37,645
I'll just pour you some,
and then when I finish making the toast...
1237
01:30:39,240 --> 01:30:40,924
you can decide.
1238
01:30:44,120 --> 01:30:45,610
Sorry. I forgot something.
1239
01:30:51,840 --> 01:30:54,810
Here we go.
Got you a gift.
1240
01:30:54,960 --> 01:30:56,803
- Thank you.
- Open it.
1241
01:30:57,840 --> 01:30:59,126
Open it, open it, open it.
1242
01:31:18,200 --> 01:31:20,487
Carla and I have been looking
for children's books...
1243
01:31:21,600 --> 01:31:25,844
and I came across this one
a few days ago,
1244
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,441
and it just struck me as perfect,
you know?
1245
01:31:28,600 --> 01:31:32,002
You know, when we were
in the hospital together,
1246
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:33,491
when we first met...
1247
01:31:35,640 --> 01:31:38,405
we imagined that we were
from another planet
1248
01:31:38,560 --> 01:31:40,881
because we don't belong here
on this earth.
1249
01:31:43,440 --> 01:31:47,161
And we liked to pretend
that one day we'd get to go back...
1250
01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:51,247
to our real planet, our home.
1251
01:31:54,360 --> 01:31:55,964
And in this book...
1252
01:31:58,640 --> 01:32:00,369
the little prince
is from another planet,
1253
01:32:00,520 --> 01:32:01,806
but he's visiting Earth.
1254
01:32:03,320 --> 01:32:07,166
And... eventually
he wants to go back home,
1255
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:10,244
but the only way that he can do that
is to die here on Earth.
1256
01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:16,285
So, this is a toast...
1257
01:32:17,640 --> 01:32:23,124
to a baby that will feel
like he belongs here, on Earth...
1258
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:27,165
on this planet.
1259
01:32:30,760 --> 01:32:32,808
And won't have to die to go home.
1260
01:32:37,560 --> 01:32:39,005
Carla, I just made a toast.
1261
01:32:40,920 --> 01:32:42,922
- Carla.
- It's okay.
1262
01:32:43,080 --> 01:32:44,889
It's a toast.
Raise the glass.
1263
01:32:45,080 --> 01:32:46,127
I...
1264
01:32:46,280 --> 01:32:48,248
Why don't you have a drink, Carla?
1265
01:32:52,080 --> 01:32:55,971
Are you still gonna pretend, after all
of this, that you still can't drink?
1266
01:33:01,560 --> 01:33:02,925
Because I know.
1267
01:33:04,560 --> 01:33:06,688
- Why don't you just say it?
- All right.
1268
01:33:06,840 --> 01:33:10,561
Just say it.
Just say it, say it.
1269
01:33:10,720 --> 01:33:14,247
Carla had an abortion.
Surprise.
1270
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,370
Right?
1271
01:33:24,240 --> 01:33:26,004
So, why don't you just say it, Carla?
1272
01:33:26,200 --> 01:33:28,567
- Please say it, please.
- All right, I did.
1273
01:33:30,440 --> 01:33:32,647
Oh, God.
1274
01:33:32,800 --> 01:33:34,404
How could you do that?
1275
01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,881
Did you forget everything?
1276
01:33:39,920 --> 01:33:41,365
No.
1277
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,650
I didn't forget anything.
1278
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:47,560
I thought you knew
that that was our miracle,
1279
01:33:47,600 --> 01:33:49,329
that that was our gift from God.
1280
01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:51,244
I thought you knew that!
1281
01:33:51,400 --> 01:33:53,050
- I did. I did!
- I thought you knew that
1282
01:33:53,200 --> 01:33:55,851
that was our gift from God!
So what changed?
1283
01:33:56,000 --> 01:33:57,001
- Because!
- What changed?
1284
01:33:57,160 --> 01:33:58,207
- Because!
- Why?
1285
01:33:58,400 --> 01:34:00,480
Because I didn't want it to be raised
by our illness!
1286
01:34:13,480 --> 01:34:15,050
So we're a mistake?
1287
01:34:21,120 --> 01:34:22,610
We're a mistake?
1288
01:34:24,600 --> 01:34:26,090
We're a mistake?
1289
01:34:28,680 --> 01:34:31,570
Are we a mistake, Carla?
Are we a mistake?
1290
01:34:49,360 --> 01:34:50,566
So that's it.
1291
01:36:04,880 --> 01:36:06,609
Hello?
1292
01:36:11,200 --> 01:36:12,531
What?
1293
01:36:54,720 --> 01:36:56,927
"As the sun and moon
aligned in the sky,
1294
01:36:57,120 --> 01:36:59,521
they illuminated each other's shine.
1295
01:36:59,680 --> 01:37:03,651
And the closer to each other they moved,
the brighter they shined,
1296
01:37:03,800 --> 01:37:07,247
and the higher the fire
inside of us grew.
1297
01:37:07,400 --> 01:37:10,085
As we raced through the days
on that fling,
1298
01:37:10,240 --> 01:37:11,480
each footprint we laid
1299
01:37:11,640 --> 01:37:15,201
blazed away that piece
of the earth's entire lifetime of beauty
1300
01:37:15,360 --> 01:37:17,647
in the brief second it touched our feet,
1301
01:37:17,800 --> 01:37:20,485
leaving nothing but ashes beneath us.
1302
01:37:20,640 --> 01:37:25,202
Until we had no ground left to stand on
and nowhere left to flee. "
1303
01:37:25,400 --> 01:37:28,449
"And now that we've turned away
from our fire
1304
01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:31,968
to face the days that remained
unburned by the flames,
1305
01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:33,690
and learn to gaze at them
1306
01:37:33,840 --> 01:37:36,491
through sane eyes
one day at a time.
1307
01:37:36,640 --> 01:37:39,962
We can look back at our book
with clear sight
1308
01:37:40,160 --> 01:37:43,562
and give it the ending
that we never got the chance to write.
1309
01:37:43,720 --> 01:37:47,611
And while I know it's too late
to pick up the ripped-up pages,
1310
01:37:47,760 --> 01:37:52,084
I will admit,
I still think of our little prince.
1311
01:37:52,240 --> 01:37:55,881
And sometimes I go outside
and look up at the sky
1312
01:37:56,040 --> 01:37:57,530
and think about what planet
1313
01:37:57,720 --> 01:37:59,882
he might've gone back to after he died.
1314
01:38:01,600 --> 01:38:03,841
Then I imagine the three of us
1315
01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:07,527
living up there as a family
in another lifetime.
1316
01:38:13,160 --> 01:38:16,721
But for now, you have your own life,
and I have mine.
1317
01:38:16,880 --> 01:38:19,611
And we have to live them
the way we would have
1318
01:38:19,760 --> 01:38:23,128
if we could go back to the day
we conceived our child
1319
01:38:23,280 --> 01:38:27,251
and were able to see what
our manic eyes were blind to at the time.
1320
01:38:30,200 --> 01:38:33,249
When the sun and moon finally came
as close as they could be
1321
01:38:33,400 --> 01:38:36,961
and the fire inside us rose
to its highest peak,
1322
01:38:37,120 --> 01:38:40,010
it leaped past
the fading ashes of our flesh
1323
01:38:40,160 --> 01:38:42,766
to burn our love into eternity,
1324
01:38:42,920 --> 01:38:44,763
through our baby.
1325
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,490
That eternal flame
1326
01:38:46,640 --> 01:38:49,769
that could blaze brighter
than our manic one ever could
1327
01:38:49,920 --> 01:38:52,491
on its brightest mania days,
1328
01:38:52,640 --> 01:38:54,847
but that would also sustain. "
1329
01:39:25,160 --> 01:39:27,640
- I'm really, really proud of you.
- Thanks.
1330
01:39:27,800 --> 01:39:29,290
Maybe you'll stop by later?
1331
01:39:37,960 --> 01:39:39,246
Hi.
1332
01:39:39,400 --> 01:39:40,640
Hey.
1333
01:39:42,120 --> 01:39:44,805
- I thought that went really well.
- Yeah.
1334
01:39:44,960 --> 01:39:47,327
- Was a really good idea.
- Yeah.
1335
01:39:47,480 --> 01:39:49,244
So how've you been?
1336
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:54,083
Okay. How about you?
1337
01:39:56,520 --> 01:39:58,443
Good.
1338
01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,125
Yeah, really good.
1339
01:40:02,920 --> 01:40:04,365
Is that him?
1340
01:40:07,280 --> 01:40:08,520
Yeah.
1341
01:40:15,960 --> 01:40:17,849
He looks like a solid guy.
1342
01:40:18,840 --> 01:40:20,205
He is.
1343
01:40:24,560 --> 01:40:26,369
Well, I should go.
1344
01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:31,246
Hey, Marco.
1345
01:40:34,040 --> 01:40:35,929
It's so good to see you.
1346
01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:39,886
You, too.
1347
01:43:03,360 --> 01:43:05,408
There was a time long ago
1348
01:43:05,560 --> 01:43:07,801
when tides would rise
and winds would blow
1349
01:43:07,960 --> 01:43:11,203
when the stars pulsed spirals
of fire across the sky
1350
01:43:11,360 --> 01:43:14,045
and all the lunatics saw,
and all the lunatics knew
1351
01:43:14,200 --> 01:43:16,646
that the two eyes of God
had aligned in the sky
1352
01:43:16,800 --> 01:43:18,643
to give us a glimpse
into the divine
1353
01:43:18,800 --> 01:43:20,564
And though the sane may deny
1354
01:43:20,720 --> 01:43:22,324
we gazed through God's eyes
1355
01:43:22,480 --> 01:43:24,801
and claim it was
just some misfiring synapses
1356
01:43:24,960 --> 01:43:26,769
flashing through
a crack in our minds
1357
01:43:26,920 --> 01:43:28,160
we all knew it was true
1358
01:43:28,320 --> 01:43:29,685
we all knew we shared a view
1359
01:43:29,840 --> 01:43:31,729
into something
just too beautiful to prove
1360
01:43:31,880 --> 01:43:33,962
and they can't take that away
from me and you
1361
01:43:38,560 --> 01:43:40,050
Even when the seasons change,
1362
01:43:40,200 --> 01:43:41,929
summer exceeds its stay,
1363
01:43:42,080 --> 01:43:43,764
the sun creeps away
1364
01:43:43,920 --> 01:43:46,605
and fall shadows
grab hold of your brain
1365
01:43:46,760 --> 01:43:48,364
and you can feel your will
1366
01:43:48,520 --> 01:43:49,965
within each withering leaf
1367
01:43:50,160 --> 01:43:52,527
clinging to the trees
of the entire forest
1368
01:43:52,680 --> 01:43:55,160
surrounding you slipping
as they fall down on you
1369
01:43:55,320 --> 01:43:57,163
and then when Winter rolls around,
1370
01:43:57,320 --> 01:44:00,529
your soul retreats
deep beneath the frozen ground
1371
01:44:00,680 --> 01:44:02,728
and it's calling your body down
1372
01:44:02,920 --> 01:44:05,571
and it feels like your ashes
are fighting gravity
1373
01:44:05,760 --> 01:44:08,240
even then, Spring will come again
1374
01:44:08,400 --> 01:44:10,289
and invite you to rise too high
1375
01:44:10,440 --> 01:44:12,124
and it's up for you to decide
1376
01:44:12,280 --> 01:44:14,282
if you'll repeat those seasonal tides
1377
01:44:14,440 --> 01:44:16,329
that will lay waste to your lives
1378
01:44:16,520 --> 01:44:18,284
But if you choose to live
1379
01:44:18,480 --> 01:44:20,289
you may look out at the sky
1380
01:44:20,480 --> 01:44:22,687
and reminisce about those times
1381
01:44:22,840 --> 01:44:24,649
when the Sun and the Moon
would align
1382
01:44:24,800 --> 01:44:26,689
and each would find its other eye
1383
01:44:26,840 --> 01:44:29,969
so that God could cry
about what was lost and why
1384
01:44:30,120 --> 01:44:32,202
But I tell you not to miss those times
1385
01:44:32,360 --> 01:44:34,169
for the Sun still shines
1386
01:44:34,320 --> 01:44:35,924
and the Moon will still rise
1387
01:44:36,120 --> 01:44:38,851
and with just enough light
from the far off shine
1388
01:44:39,040 --> 01:44:40,451
of the sun across the sky
1389
01:44:40,600 --> 01:44:44,400
it will keep that divine sight
forever alive in your eyes
1389
01:44:45,305 --> 01:44:51,686
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